


Ut pereat unum amavit unus

by turntochapter13



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Google translate made my title, Henry's Death, Hurt/Comfort, I'll edit in more tags in a lil' bit, I'm blanking rn, Mild Gore, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 06:29:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15880443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntochapter13/pseuds/turntochapter13
Summary: He felt numb. His fingers tingled—thousands of imaginary needles poking at his pale skin over and over and over again. He wasn't sure if it would ever end. God, he just wanted it to end. He wanted everything to just freaking end! What was the point of it anymore—the point of everything—because his everything was stripped from him—first his mom and now…





	Ut pereat unum amavit unus

**Author's Note:**

> (Translation - "Ut pereat unum amavit unus" (Latin>English) "To Lose a Loved One" )  
> [blame Google translate it this is wrong] 
> 
> I decided to post this even though I completly accidently deleted my new betas email for its review and totally got too lazy to ask them to send it again, but I will get my next work beta'd and approved I swear! 
> 
> Also, I'm a lil' grumpy because none of my italicizations transfered over copy/paste. I can usually work it out if I'm posting from my laptop but my phone is a wEinEr so oof. 
> 
> ~Lili <3

 

He felt numb. His fingers tingled—thousands of imaginary needles poking at his pale skin over and over and over again. He wasn't sure if it would ever end. God, he just wanted it to end. He wanted everything to just freaking end! What was the point of it anymore—the point of everything—because his everything was stripped from him—first his mom and now…   
But it wasn't going to end. The world doesn't work that way. It doesn't pause on demand for an emotionally unstable failure. Nothing could change this. Nothing could distract him from the fact that his father's blood was on him--was everywhere—surrounding him even.    
He sat there, dried tear stains lined his ghostly white cheeks, eyes puffy and red, leaving even more proof that he had been crying—that he was still crying. He didn't care. The whole entire CCPD precinct could be in here and he'd still not shy away. Hell—broadcast this to the whole world—he wouldn't react. The truth to the matter was he was too tired. So freaking tired.  His limbs felt like lead; feeble and useless, splayed out underneath his father's flaccid form. Barry wrapped his arms tighter around him. He's not dead. He can't be. I just got him back. No… no. Those words ran through his head repeatedly, his brain's weak attempt at denial. He was rocking back and forth on the soaked hardwood floor, his father's upper half pressed against his chest as if the latter was a stuffed animal a child would hold onto in the midst of tragedy.   
He was trembling, vibrations taking over his entire upper body as chills racked through him. Sobs ripped through his chest, the kind that hiccup and leave you breathless.   
He barely registered the soft click of the front door, ignored the sight of multiple shoes inching closer and surrounding him where he sat, wide eyed and utterly broken.   
    
Joe's hands were jittery with emotion. He stumbled with the keys, trying his best to turn the ignition. "Dad", Iris said from behind him as Cisco and Caitlin hopped into the back of the van. No response. "Dad", she repeated louder, more grounded. He turned around to face her, expression set in a grim determination. Both of them sensed the tears rimming their identical blood-shot eyes. "Let me drive."    
He agreed shakily, handing the keys over to her.    
The sound of a motorcycle engine revved closer. Iris squinted her eyes in an attempt to see who it was. Oliver Queen rolled up beside the STAR Labs van in which Caitlin and Cisco drove to the house in, Felicity behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "Hey! Where ya' guys going?" Felicity said in a lighthearted tone, her and Oliver's bright smiles juxtaposed with the remaining of the groups' blank expressions.    
"W-what're you guys doing in Central City?" asked Iris, begging the irritating hammer in her head to stop colliding with the interior of her skull.   
"Well" Oliver started with a more observant tone than his predecessor housed, "Caitlin called and invited us to your dinner party—said she wanted to surprise Barry."   
"Iris." Felicity spoke again, a slight off-ness to her voice, "What's going on?"    
"Um--" emotion snatched at her throat in a way that made her want to crumble, but she kept up straight at the thought there was mission to be handled and they were running out of time as is. "We were having dinner when... Zoom showed up a-and he—" she wasn't sure how to word it all correctly. Was she really going to waste more time explaining the past while something in the present was gravely wrong and was just beseeching to be mended. "He took Henry—Zoom took Henry. And he ran out and-and Barry followed him." Both stared at her shocked at the sudden news. "Cisco was able to track him through his suit."   
Both blondes' starkly disturbed faces were affixed upon Iris's own, a silent plea to continue. "It says he's at his old house."    
"Well what are we waiting for?" Oliver croaked out, trying to mask any emotion (classic Oliver), "Let's go... I'll follow you guys."    
Iris was finally snapped out of her stupor, nodding to Oliver before quickly getting herself into the driver's seat.   
    
They pulled up to the house after five minutes of driving. Usually this distance required about ten minutes to cover, but Iris really wasn't paying attention to speed limits at the moment.    
The ride was tense and the confined space seem to grow even smaller. The low hum of Oliver's motorcycle right behind them was the only thing keeping Iris from believing that the ringing in her ears hadn't actually rendered her deaf.    
Now they were finally standing at the ledge where the asphalt ended and the concrete of the side walk began, staring up at large house—two sets of stairs led up to the porch yet no one was making a move to head up them. What are you doing? Get up there!, Joe's mind was screaming. He was sure he could siphon the feeling that everybody else was thinking the same.    
Finally, Oliver spoke up, tearing through the blanket of muteness in the night. "Let's get in there before it's too late."    
"Who's saying it isn't already too late?" Cisco mumbled contrarily, too wound up to filter his thoughts amongst his anxious friends, as they all began to tread up the walkway.    
Joe went ahead of the others, heart beating so hard he could hear it. He got out his gun, hands trembling as they raised it up in a ready stance. On that que, he looked behind him, being met with four sets of wide and curious eyes, the only other one's, naturally, Oliver's, were lax as though even if he didn't like it, he knew what they were going to see when they walked in.    
Joe took a deep breath as he wrapped his hand around the knob, hesitating before deciding on a silent approach just in case Zoom still resided within.    
He treaded lightly as he proceeded forward. He left the door open, simultaneously signaling the others to keep quiet. A split second later and Joe was in the house, walking with the quiet ease he had learned from all his years on the force.    
The house was quiet... too quiet. His heart was in his stomach, sub-conscious leading him to the place he dreaded to look. The living room.    
He didn't want it to be true. He didn't want the boy who he considered his son to be back in that place—where his mother died. He didn't want that grim irony to send a horrible conclusion to his brain, but here he was now, frozen in his tracks, Barry and Henry in sight for across the room.    
Everyone, a few feet away, yet not in line of sight like Joe, noticed his change in manner, their hearts clenching at the thoughts that action was eliciting from their own brains and before they knew it, they looked exactly like him as they finally got into line of sight as well.    
Iris choked out a gasp as they all circled around the silent speedster. "Barry—" she managed to say with a decent amount of composure. Joe couldn't believe his eyes. Barry had his back to the wall opposite of where they entered, with his legs sprawled out, his head down, arms clenched around the now lifeless Henry Allen. He was swaying back and forth, his eyes wide and bloodshot, filled with unshed tears. The only sounds he made where the separated sharp intakes of breath and the low, incoherent mumbling. His whole body was taken over with vibrations, few and far apart.    
Nobody said a word. They all just stood there, silent and horror stricken for what seemed like hours. Eventually, Oliver composed himself enough to lean into a crouched position, slowly putting out his hand and gently grabbing a hold of the younger man's shoulder. The abrupt contact made Barry flinch violently and a whimper drew out of his mouth before dissipating back to low mumbles yet again. "Barry." Oliver said, apparent overwhelming dread within his usually stern voice.   
"Come on buddy—let's get you home." No response. "He's in shock, Oliver." Caitlin stated from behind him in a low whisper.    
Oh God... Oliver cursed internally. He had to do this. Joe couldn't, nor Iris. He had to be strong for them, for Barry. Every one of them didn't want to deal with this in a guiltily selfish sort of way, or more like they weren't sure how to deal with it.    
"Hey Barr, you—you gotta let us handle your dad." Cisco said, stepping up. "Don't you want him to be put to rest?"    
"Cisco's right, Barry." Caitlin chimed in again.    
Joe, Iris, and Felicity still stood stock still behind them all, unsure they would be able to help at all for the sheer weight holding them to their spots left them feeling void.   
"Yah." agreed Oliver, "We can get him cleaned up... W-we could get you cleaned up.", he added, taking in the blood beneath both father and son, like a crimson pool ready to pull anyone into it to meet their untimely death. Barry's suit was soaked with it as well, disguised by the already deep red color of it.    
"Come on Bud..." Oliver reached out his other arm, grabbing purchase on the now-deceased Henry Allen's arm, giving a little pool before retrieving immediately as a scream came from Barry's mouth, hoarse and exhausted. He attempted to retreat farther back, pushing himself harder into the wall as though he wanted to dissolve into it.   
His feet moved frantically, trying to maintain purchase on the hardwood, but they inevitably failed, exhausted limbs slipping over and over again on the slippery red beneath him. He continued to struggle, cries of frustration and despair escaping his dry lips. All anybody could do was watch as he wore himself out.    
By this point, everybody was either on the edge on or full-fledge crying as well, even the hard-faced Oliver Queen seemed to be concentrated on composure more than normal.   
"Dad, no... please... PLEASE! COME BACK! DON'T DO THIS! Please! You have to be alive... FOR ME! DAD! FOR ME!"    
Before they knew it, his pleas dissipated until they were just mumbles, accompanied by hiccupped sobs. Sooner rather than later, they cut off all together. Barry's eyes were closed and his grip on his father loosened. Caitlin hurried over to him as soon as she saw his new state, only half shielded with her usually steely façade she gained as a practiced doctor.    
She pressed her index and middle finger to his neck. "He's okay." They all let out a collective breath. "I think he just passed out from exhaustion.", she stated before she clasped her hands on her mouth, eyes closing as a tear began to roll down her cheek. "Then let's get Henry before he wakes up." said Joe.   
Cisco and Caitlin nodded in agreement before unfolding the sheet they had taken from the van.    
Cisco would have never imagined in a thousand years that the purpose of this sheet would be more than just to cover technical equipment within the van so it didn't end up laced with thin and thick lairs of dust. He would've never thought to look down as it covered the once lively body of a man, newly exonerated, newly happy.   
Joe and Oliver helped Caitlin pick up Henry and lay him on the floor below and Cisco covered him with the sheet. After that, everybody seemed to still for a second, unsure of what to do next, but yet again, Oliver broke the tension in the room. He cleared his throat. "Alright... I'll carry Barry to the van. Joe, Iris, you can follow me out and help me put him in. We'll all head back to the house. Me and Felicity will get on my bike and follow—" he tilted his head towards Joe, "You and Iris, who'll drive the van back." He paused before continuing, dreading what he was planning to say. "Caitlin... Cisco... I know you guys don't want to but-"   
"We'll do it.", they both interrupted at the same time. "We're the only ones who know how to erase the tracks that we were ever here—well, the only ones conscious." Caitlin said halfway through a sniffle. They seemed to have read Oliver's mind before he even had it completely made up himself.   
"And I can delete any traffic camera evidence." Cisco continued, not even requesting help of Felicity, sensing the un-eagerness she seemed to house for speaking in general at the moment.   
A beat passed. "Thank you." Oliver said, putting one hand on Cisco shoulder and another on Caitlin's. He looked at them both with such sincerity bleeding through each word—Caitlin could have sworn that this was the most open the Green Arrow had ever been with them. They both nodded back to emotionally capacitated to come up with any actual reply.   
Joe, Iris, and Felicity headed out the door, Cisco and Caitlin in their wake to retrieve the cleaning products they needed from the company van. Joe had promised to drive back and get them after they called to inform him when they were finished.   
Iris walked back in followed by a mute Caitlin and Cisco with different cleaning products in toll.   
"We made room for him in the back of the van." Iris said, head down, trying to mask shredded tears with her dangling locks of charcoal hair. "Thank you, Iris." Oliver replied rather detached.   
"No—" she said abruptly. Oliver looked up, confused. "Thank you." She continued. He paused for a second before nodding. They exchanged knowing glances before Iris backed up when Caitlin walked pass with a spray bottle and rag in hand. Oliver walked over to Barry, being careful not to walk in any of the blood. He knew that he would be smeared in it after he picked up Barry but prints, in this case, were more incriminating. He hooked one arm under the speedster's propped up legs and slivered his other behind Barry's back.   
He took a minute to adjust to the surprising dead weight before fully standing up. Barry's head lolled back and his left arm dangled while the other was trapped between Barry's side and Oliver torso. Iris followed Oliver out the door, both heading for the van. He handed him off to Joe, helping him adjust the sleeping speedster comfortably in the back of the van.    
Iris couldn't stand to look at his face. Even in his state of exhaustion, he was still tense, skin all pale and closed eye lids puffy and the only spot that had any hint of crimson. All the sight did for her was remind her how much he was hurting—how much pain he has had in his life and how he still felt that sorrow loud and announced every day. She hated it.   
    
Many things had been running through Wally's mind. Most of the processing he had been doing, occurring on the living room couch, hands over his mouth as Jesse continuously argued with Tina to allow them out of the house despite Joe's demands.   
He wasn't even sure how long it had been. All that was running through his mind was frustration—frustration that he'd been so oblivious to the fact that Barry Allen, the weird, yet optimistic, forensic nerd that Wally's father treated like a son, was the one and only Flash, savior of Central City.   
How did he not notice before? When he really thought about it, the signs were so obvious; the constant tendency of absence when danger was in wake and how fast the flash would show up right after, the reason he gave up his speed for Wally, seemingly a stranger to the hero, or so he thought—it all lead to the now transparent conclusion, and yet it took him this long to realize it, and it practically had to be thrown in his face.    
They had been having a peaceful dinner when the terrifyingly familiar bout of blue lightning sprayed across the dining room table. Within seconds, Henry Allen was in Zoom's grip, fear evident in the older man's eyes. It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. Wally's heart skipped a beat, his whole being beginning to freeze with fear. The words the speed demon spoke seeming to just wisp right through him, only muffled phrases reaching his ears.   
And just like that, he was gone and then only a beat passes before a gust of wind nearly knocked him over. Now yellow lightning crossed the room, disappearing just as quick as it came. He turned around in a swarm of confusion at where the source of wind came from, Barry's seat, only to be met with nothing. The gears only started turning as Cisco, Caitlin, Joe, and Iris were rushing out the door, never answering him as he asked repeatedly what was going on. All they got was a strict demand to stay at the house from his evidently worried father.   
Now here he was, trying to comprehend everything that happened. It was difficult to hear the soft click of the front door, but Wally, senses in overdrive, noticed it. His head snapped up immediately, legs already pushing him off of the couch.   
"Dad, I-", he cut himself off as a man, obviously not his father, walked through the door, a limp Barry in his arms, wearing the unmistakable Flash suit. His head sagged backwards and his arms were folded up in the bend of his form at his waist. The older man, oddly familiar, continued through the doorway, barely acknowledging Wally, nor Jesse, who was now in the living room as well. Joe followed shortly behind, and then Iris after him. Wally was unsure what to say, stiff and awkward where he stood. "Dad..I-is Barry okay?", he blurted out with a surprising amount of concern. Joe silenced him with a hand telling him to be quiet. He visually shrunk down on himself, a silent pang of guilt rising in his throat, afraid he somehow managed to render Barry's comatose state worse.    
The mystery man stood awkwardly, wavering in the corner of the room. Joe laid a sheet down on the couch. Wally's brows furrowed, confused as to why he would be doing such a thing.    
Then it clicked.    
He looked towards the man again, saw the blood on Barry's back. "Oh my God." he exasperated, getting up so quickly, he felt a little light-headed. Joe noticed his son's observations almost immediately. "Hey. Hey! Wally!" He got in front of Wally, stopping him from charging at Oliver. "It's not his blood! H-he's just passed out."   
The statement roused Wally to calm down a significant amount, but the same new information erupted more eager questions from his overworked mind.   
But if it wasn't his blood, Wally contemplated, then who- oh no. No, no, no.   
Something dawned on him.    
Henry didn't come back with them. He was the one Zoom had in his grips.    
Now closer than he had prematurely been, Wally was able to really look at Barry. His heart suddenly felt a ton heavier. Dried tears streaked his foster brother's face. His complexion was sickly pale. Wally looked at his father, eyes wide with dread.   
"Oh God." he leaned heavily on the wall to give his legs a break, mouth agape in disbelief.   
Leather-Jacket-Man carried Barry over to the sheet, gently laying him down.   
"Dad." Iris finally spoke, grabbing her father's attention. "We can't just leave him here." she gestured to the couch, the bright blue sheet Joe had retrieved from the closet had already started to become tainted by the blood on Barry's uniform. "We need to get him cleaned up—take him up to his room, his bed." Joe agreed. "Yah... okay. Um, Oliver, could you possibly carry him upstairs?"   
"Yah of course." the man replied, picking up Barry with surprising ease. The final reveal of the blonde's name confirmed Wally's suspicions that he was indeed, Oliver Queen, yet he felt no impulse to express this new iFlash suit, putting it in a garbage bag so blood didn't get on the floor. He sat him on the edge of the tub making sure his underwear wouldn't get wet and went about scrubbing off the dry blood on his arms and legs and face. For the most part, he was asleep, making it difficult for Joe to support his weight as he simultaneously ran the rag across his skin, but maybe about three times, Joe could feel Barry coming back to awareness—a muffled grown, a sliver of pupils underneath hooded eyes, a sudden dead weight being lifted from Joe's hold—but as soon as it came, it disappeared just as quick.   
Still, Joe could see tears appear on the younger man's cheeks every so often—leading him to believe that maybe Barry just didn't want to be awake; even if it was hard to return back to his subconscious, where he could still imagine his dad, alive and vibrant.    
Iris had knocked as soon as Joe was about to grab the towel. He placed Barry, now wavering on consciousness, on the shut toilet to his own devices.    
He held himself up yet let his head hang low, towel wrapped around his trembling shoulders.    
Joe opened the door, being met with his daughter holding one of Barry's t-shirts and a pair of his pajama pants in her outstretched arms.   
Joe gave her a silent and appreciative nod before closing the door as she returned to where she sat before on his bed, waiting. Barry didn't put up a fuss as the older man slithered the pants up his legs and he weakly lifted his arms for the shirt to be placed over his head. He remained silent throughout the whole ordeal, face blank, eyes glossy.   
Eventually, he got Barry fully dressed. He crouched down, ignoring the crack of protests from his aging joints.    
He gently collected Barry's face in his hands trying to get eye contact and inevitably giving up. Still, he stood where he was for a beat before wrapping his arms around his adoptive son in a warm embrace.   
    
It took another ten minutes before he was out of the restroom and tucked into bed. Reluctantly, Joe allowed Iris to lay beside him, collecting him into her arms easily as he leached off her comfort like it was the only thing worth living for anymore, eyes shut tight as though the pain was somehow surpassing into physical at some point.    
Joe turned around and close the door as tears began to prick his   
nformation outwardly, both because of what was happening and also because they obviously already knew.   
"Okay, Iris will show you up to his room. I'll be there in a minute."   
    
After laying him down in the bathtub like Iris had suggested, Oliver headed back down to sit in the living room, stopping in the kitchen to wash as much blood off his leather jacket as he could. He couldn't even bear to think of who the blood belonged to, who's blood-soaked the unconscious kid upstairs. Once Joe arrived in Barry's bathroom, he asked Iris to wait outside while he wiped his foster son down. Even though he wasn't going to be completely bare, Joe knew how embarrassed Barry would be if he found out Iris was there to witness him being cleaned up like a toddler. He already knew that finding out his friend had to carry him upstairs would make Barry significantly flushed as is.   
Luckily, his underwear where unscathed by Henry's blood so Joe just took him out of the   
eyes.  

**Author's Note:**

> That's right! I'm freaking back! And I'm going to be posting lots of fics that I wrote In my notebook of mysteries before I start posting the new stuff I'm working on at the moment. I've kind of fallen out of the spn and flash fandoms lately but I still love them and I will try to write more about them since I have so many ideas! I've been really into Marvel and I've been going back to my DC roots as well so don't be suprised if Bucky or Loki or even Justice League fics start popping up. I also may continue 'Why Like This' since everybodies been asking for it. Hope you enjoyed (Well not enjoyed- whatever you get the point) this fic and stay tuned for more like it ;)  
> ~Lili <3


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